Today the Lord taught me something in the least glamorous of ways.
Over the past few months I have been training for a half marathon this Fall. I have not done much long distance running since I have been married, and wanted to give myself a goal and focus. Overall I have really enjoyed training, and feel so accomplished at the end of each week. (Not accomplished enough to crave 26.2...I'm not sure that feeling will ever strike me, haha). I feel lucky to have the time and ability to train, and my favorite part has been mapping out runs all over the county, exploring new back roads. I'm reminded every day of how important it is to have variety, and how different routes actually push me in different ways and help me grow stronger as a runner. This has been an easy correlation to my life, as I think about how different circumstances push me and grow me in who I am in the Lord, and are truly testing of my faith.
This morning I mapped out eight miles, and was ready for a more relaxed run to end my week. As I started out I found my mind racing with all the things I needed to do, places I needed to go and people I needed to talk to. Sometimes with a ton of time on my hands and not many options but to run, my mind becomes louder than the peace and calm I could choose to experience, louder than my music, and just overwhelmingly distracting. And let me tell you, reciting your to do list for miles on end does not make you feel refreshed and energized, not even a little bit. Around mile six I was turning to head toward home feeling like I just needed to get going with my day, when I practically ran smack into a giant orange sign. DETOUR. And I almost cried.
I don't have time for this.
This was not part of my plan.
How can I get around this easily?
and then the realization-
I can't. I have no control over the PA road crews, and chances are if I try going through this I'll end up in wet asphalt, or even more irritated while turning around.
My eight mile run ended up being just over ten, which ultimately was not the end of the world, but felt like forever in my mind. I think the best and worst part was the new realization I encountered in those two miles on Clearview Road.
I am really dislike detours. Self motivated, controlled, planned out, I can do that. Flexible, patient, go-with-the-flow, not so much. In fact heading where I want to go and facing a giant orange sign that says YOU CAN'T GO HERE RIGHT NOW- that is probably my worst fear.
The more I continue to experience in my life, the more I see how life rarely pans out the way you had in mind. Oh how stretching this is to my control complex, and to my trusting heart. Considering I was just blown away with this revelation today, I've got nothing to offer except if you feel this I'm with you. And all I know is, there's usually a reason for the detour.