There I was, standing in the middle of the baking aisle at the Giant between Walnut & Chestnut, crying. The kind of tears that came out of nowhere and just won't stop.
It was typical day in the life of me when I've made myself way too busy. Wake up, add to the already 27-point long to-do list that I made the night before, and off I go quite literally at a sprint. Trying to breathe deep, telling myself that the cold coming on is just a mind game and that rest is for the weak. I have important things to be doing like searching for the perfectly organic variety pack of colored carrots. Yes, my grocery list was this specific. We were having company, ALL things needed to be perfect. This includes carrots, preferably purple (insert eye-rolling emoji if you would like, I can make fun of myself in hindsight).
Giant was my fourth grocery store of the day, so one could assume that I was crying because the spot labeled rosemary was completely empty, meaning a fifth trip was in my future. But somehow my awareness expanded beyond my own "issue" long enough to realize that the Burmese woman next to me was literally just trying to understand the wall of canned tomatoes she was facing. Crushed, diced, sauce, paste, heck I don't even get the differences. And I'm over here fuming because dried rosemary.
I can't explain all the things I was feeling, but I'm pretty sure this is why I started to cry.
How often am I so involved in my own little world, that I don't realize there is A WORLD. One so full of things that "don't affect me," but I can choose to affect. What things have I chosen to ignore, or replace with minor problems in my own life. How easy it is to become inward focused, to create stress where there is no real stress, to create lists just to have them, to stay busy as a false sense of worth.
How often to we ignore that woman trying to understand, because we're too busy trying to get stuff done?
The message is in the story, and I think it speaks for itself. In what ways can we become aware of life beyond ourselves in the coming year? In what ways can we care more deeply, give more generously, love more fully?